Akatsuki Adventures!
by KonanChanx
Summary: The Akatsuki Adventures! Read about your favourite Akatsuki characters messing around! Each chapter is its own small story, and so I hope you enjoy! :) T- just in case Hidan swears! Sorry I'm not great at descriptions xP
1. Deidara and Tobi!

**A/N: Hi everybody! I've never written fan-fiction down on paper before so I'm afraid I may not be that great! However, I hope you enjoy what I have to write! Just to let you know the characters in my stories will often have extremely exaggerated personalities! There may be some imperfections too, so sorry!**

**Akatsuki Adventures**

**Chapter One: Deidara and Tobi!**

The Land Of Fire, greatest of the five shinobi nations, and home to the hidden leaf village 'Konohagakure', was peaceful that day. That was, until Deidara and Tobi arrived. They stood at the base of a valley, hidden amongst the trees. A path to their left would lead them directly into the village, but for now Tobi sat upon a tree trunk, swinging his legs and humming to a random tune.

Deidara could hear the tune buzzing around in his head, an annoying rhythmic humming, "Tobi! Will you cut that out before I get angry?" he finally growled.

"Oh, I'm sorry Senpai..." Tobi looked at Deidara, well at least that's what he must've been looking at, for all Deidara could see was a small black hole on Tobi's mask. "I'm just bored that's all," he glanced around "what are we even waiting for?"

"You fool," Deidara smiled to himself "we've been sent here on an extremely important mission. We're just waiting for Pain's message"

"Ohhhhh!" Tobi exclaimed, leaning forwards on his tree trunk, "So you don't even know what we're doing here either, Senpai!" he then chuckled as if he knew more than Deidara. Even though his partner's words were true, Deidara still gave Tobi a glowering look. "Now Senpai!" Tobi chirped "Don't get all mad OK? I was only joking, you know that right?" he then gave a nervous laugh and resumed his hum, though more quietly this time.

Deidara really did have no idea why they had been summoned to Konohagakure, but he hoped it was worth his time. He remembered Pain's words clearly.

_ "Wait for my message at the bottom of the valley. See to it, that you don't get caught"_

Yet, here he was, still waiting for Pain's supposed message. Maybe he's sent it by bird, and the creature hadn't made it? Either way Deidara didn't want to wait here much longer with Tobi. "Oooo! Senpai! Look!"

Turning around, Deidara discovered a large cloud of leaves had begun to descend upon them. The way they swirled through the air was so unnatural, that Deidara felt this must be Pain's message. "Tobi, my man! Looks like this is the sign we've been waiting for!" he grinned and plucked a leaf from the air, Tobi danced around on his tree trunk.

"Oh boy Senpai! Man am I excited! What's the sign mean?"

"It means-" _wait a minute, what does it mean? _Deidara realised suddenly that he actually had no idea what the leaves meant, though there was a certain fury in the way that they turned in the air, "It means we attack Konohagakure! But stealthily!"

"Oh boy!" Tobi yelped and jumped from his trunk "This is going to be our best mission ever!"

After they completed a brief celebration, the two Akatsuki headed towards the village hidden in the leaves, only to discover they had read Pain's sign wrong.

Adjusting his position in a bush, Deidara huddled behind a clump of leaves and twigs. How was he going to infiltrate a village subtly? Surely Pain was aware how much he liked to make a grand entrance? Infiltration was Zetsu's speciality after all... but Deidara wasn't about to let Tobi know his doubts.

The reason they were hiding in a bush was because Naruto was standing talking to the two gatekeepers. The jinchuriki seemed in good spirits, chatting amiably with Kotetsu and Izumo. "Senpai" Tobi hissed way too close to Deidara's ear "It's the nine-tails! Are we supposed to capture him?"

"Um, I think so" Deidara said slowly, pushing Tobi away from his face "Don't get so close you fool"

"But Senpai! How are we going to capture the jinchuriki?"

"I have an idea! Don't worry, all you have to do is follow my orders, got it?" Tobi nodded at this, and Deidara spent the morning explaining his plan.

When evening fell Konohagakure's gates drew to a close and Deidara and Tobi left their hiding place in the bush. "Now, there's sentinels standing at the top of the wall, so keep close and don't get caught" he explained and again Tobi nodded.

Slowly, they both crept towards the wall, and upon arriving pressed themselves close to it. Shuffling to the right they inched closer to the gate until they were standing right besides it. Deidara shifted positions and hoped that Tobi would remember the plan...

"Now Tobi, listen up. First of all, I really think we should attempt to do this at night" he remembered saying, "You know how there's this slight gap under the gate, which makes it easier to open and close? Well, you're going to squish your way underneath, got it?"

"Hmm, Ok Senpai" Tobi had replied sullenly "but- why can't you do that part?"

"Just follow my orders!" he had snapped.

Now they stood before the gate, Deidara's plan turning into reality before his very eyes. He could see it now, Pain praising him for his hard efforts, raising him high in the Akatsuki, and then-

Tobi was waving his arms around like a windmill. Expressively, and with a face of thunder, Deidara pointed at the base of the gate where the small gap was. Tobi shook his head. Deidara pointed. Tobi once again shook his head and whispered "I'm too fat Senpai! There's no way I can squeeze through there I'll just get upset" he began to make small sniffing sounds to which Deidara believed were probably being faked, as Tobi was just too lazy to make the effort of squeezing under.

So, Deidara squeezed himself under the gate. On the other side, Konohagakure village was asleep itself, even the gate keepers hut seemed sleepy, a dull orange glow coming from within as the guards sat and talked late into the night. Deidara got to his feet and dusted himself down before peeling back the gate slightly to let Tobi through. He then closed the latch.

After around two hours, the pair finally came across the house of Uzumaki Naruto. It was a small looking apartment, and Deidara crouched opposite the door readying his explosive clay. Tobi stood shifting from foot to foot "Hurry up Senpai, or he'll catch us"

"Tobi, how many times have I told you? You can't rush art!" he patted the clay together with his hands "Now shut up and let me concentrate"

Tobi didn't like being told to shut up "hmm, OK Senpai". Tobi wasn't even sure why he was worrying so much, the jinchuriki was probably asleep by now anyways, but Deidara planned to remove the door using explosive clay, _only a small explosive_, Tobi remembered him saying. Even so, Tobi could only vaguely remember the plan, and he was too afraid to ask Deidara what it was he had to do again. After a few minutes Deidara's creation was complete, a tiny clay mouse with just enough explosives to break through the door. "You remember what to do, don't you?" Deidara asked.

Tobi nodded.

Keeping low to the ground Deidara released the mouse. Quickly, it began to run towards the door and Tobi took a leap back just as Deidara was doing. However, Deidara was looking at Tobi now as if he were doing the _wrong_ thing. The mouse collided with the door and a huge explosion blasted Tobi down the corridor, Deidara disappeared from his sight. _Senpai is gonna be so mad_! He panicked and scrambled to his feet. "Oh boy!" he puffed as he ran away from the site of the explosion, _what was it that Deidara had said again_?

"Now remember Tobi" Deidara sat opposite at the bush, leaves brushing the top of his ponytail. On one of the leaves was a ladybug that Tobi found rather interesting, it had one spot on each wing and was crawling slowly around the leaves and Deidara's hair. "Hey Tobi?"

"Hmm?"

The ladybug opened its wings and took flight just as Deidara shifted his head, "You got the plan right?"

Tobi nodded.

Now Tobi was cursing himself, if only he had listened to Deidara, then now his Senpai wouldn't be so mad. Quickly he hid himself in an ally, just as he heard running footsteps. "Hurry! It came from Naruto's place, he might be in trouble" a voice called.

"Run faster!" said another.

They passed and the street grew quiet once more. Tobi sighed in relief, and turned around to see a battered looking Deidara glaring at him from the top of a fence. "Ayiehhhh! Don't scare me like that Senpai!" but Deidara leapt down and grabbed a fistful of Tobi's robes.

"You idiot! You were supposed to kick the mouse at the door, so that it would go through the keyhole and explode the house from _inside_!" he shook Tobi around a bit "Now look what you got us into!"

"I see why you're mad Senpai, bu-"

"Just shut up and let's get out of here, this mission's been a failure!"

By the time they made it back to the tree trunk, the sky had turned the colour of dawn. Yet, Tobi was too tired to appreciate the beautiful orange sky and instead lay back on his tree trunk to watch the branches blow in the breeze above his head. Deidara sat nearby against a tree, nursing his pride whilst he figured out how to break the news to Pain. Suddenly, in the branches above Tobi noticed a letter clasped inside the beak of a bird. Carefully he reached up and removed the piece of paper from its beak, it read:

**_Deidara,_**

**_Please pick up the following order at that dumpling place near Konohagakure._**

**_Pain_**

_Oh boy, Senpai is not gonna like this_. As if things couldn't get any worse, Tobi heard the sound of voices approaching "Quick Senpai hide!" Jumping up quickly the two Akatsuki leapt into the trees and watched as below them Rock Lee and his sensei wandered into the clearing.

"Did you like my dynamic whirlwind Guy Sensei?"

"Which one was that again, Lee?" his sensei asked, raising his bushy eyebrows.

"This one!" Lee announced and lifted his leg to perform a whirling kick at Tobi's tree. The tree shook and Tobi hung on for dear life, gloves slipping slightly as he struggled to hold on. The wind from Lee's kick was also causing a strange effect, the leaves whirled furiously around similar to the supposed sign they had seen earlier...

"Nice Lee!" Guy patted him on the head warmly, "You did a good job yesterday too, now let's get some rest so we can train tomorrow!"

"Your ideas are always so marvellous sensei!" Lee exclaimed, with tears in his eyes.

Tobi and Deidara exchanged a look.


	2. The Akatsuki's New Hideout!

**A/N: Hey again guys! I've been itching to write so I thought I'd take another shot at it and write the second chapter, slight continuation from where I left off, so please, enjoy! Any problems contact me!**

**Akatsuki Adventures!**

**Chapter Two: The Akatsuki's new hideout**

After their failure back at the leaf, Deidara and Tobi made their way through the forest, leaping from branch to branch. "Senpai!" Tobi called out, as he kicked himself away from a tree "These dumplings smell delicious, can't we stop for a short break?"

"Tobi! You're aware as much as I am that we rendezvous with Pain near here… be patient!"

Tobi had in truth been nagging Deidara for a while, but it was finally beginning to get on his nerves. Pain had informed them to come back to the base immediately, and Deidara had a feeling it was only to be reprimanded for their mistakes.

Eventually they came across their base, a cave hidden amongst the rocks and by the side of a fast running river. Using a secret entrance, the two Akatsuki made their way inside.

At first, it was rather dark, and Deidara could hear the sounds of dripping water, falling from the roof above. Finally though, his eyes begun to adjust and a great gedo statue materialised out from the darkness.

Not all members of the organization were present. The shimmering holograms of Itachi and Kisame hovered lightly above the fingers of the gedo, and Pain himself was a dark shaking shadow. Deidara could not even see a hologram for Konan, as he made his way slowly to his position on the statue.

Tobi stumbled blindly in the darkness for a while, before finding a seat on a small rock, clutching the small bag of dumplings to his chest, he continued to hum his annoying tune.

"We waited here for ages" Sasori sniffed from beside Deidara, "I hate waiting"

"Humph!" Deidara sneered at him "My man, we just brought you lunch, you should be grateful"

"Silence" Pain then commanded and they both turned their attention towards their leader. Even Pain's hologram looked angry, and Deidara had a feeling this meeting wasn't going to be a good one. "Because of you, Deidara, I have had to call everyone who was nearby here, so that we may discuss finding a new base"

Deidara wasn't entirely sure why that was his fault, but he wasn't about to be stupid and ask.

"Why Leader? Deidara only caused trouble at the leaf, how does that affect our hideout?" Tobi said, appearing suddenly behind Deidara and making him cringe away. _Fool_, Deidara thought to himself through gritted teeth.

"You're trouble at the leaf led them to dispatch five ANBU units in pursuit, it's only a matter of time before they cover this area" Pain sniffed, "Which is why I want _you_ two, to go and find us a new place. Do I make myself clear?"

Nodding mutely in response, Deidara and Tobi watched as Pain's hologram vanished into the air it had come from. A booming laugh then resonated throughout the cave "Wow Deidara, you really got yourself stuck in a stink didn't ya?"

"Well done pointing out the obvious, Hidan" Kakuzu growled at his partner and leapt down from the hand he had been standing on.

"Hey Kakuzu, you're meant to side with me"

Deidara refused to grace Hidan with a response and instead jumped down so that he was only about six paces away from Kakuzu, the Akatsuki treasurer.

"You wasted a lot of our time" Sasori sighed, also coming down to ground level.

"I agree, please, try to be more careful next time" Itachi said from above before he and Kisame both disappeared.

Soon only Sasori, Tobi and Deidara remained, and they quickly left the cave together. "Sasori, my man, which way do you reckon we should go?"

"How am I supposed to know? Figure it out for yourself. _I've_ got people to see" and with that Sasori made his exit from the river valley.

"I guess it's just you and me Senpai!" Tobi exclaimed.

Deidara felt just a little ill.

For a long time they headed south from Konohagakure, through fields and valleys, roads and riversides. Until finally they were both forced to cross a large section of flat land. "Hmm, I dunno Senpai, it's a little bit out in the open to search here, we might get spotted"

"It'll be nightfall soon, let's just quickly cut across" Deidara snapped before striding forwards.

At first, all was well when crossing the field. However, when the night came the two Akatsuki realised the error they had made.

Quickly, the ground around them became thick and muddy, and they found themselves stuck in some sort of bog. "Hold on a minute Tobi whilst I make something to fly us out of here" Deidara muttered, swiping around at his robes for his clay bag only to discover it was not there.

"Senpai? Is there a problem?" Tobi leaned forwards and Deidara turned away.

"Nope!" Deidara laughed "I just realised I don't have that much left, hmm? What would I do if we encountered danger?"

"Hmm, true Senpai… Don't waste it"

They resumed their struggle through the mud and Tobi complained about the damp until finally they discovered a dry patch of ground to which they could sit on. With a large sigh, Tobi plunked down his arse and reached into his sleeve "Hey Senpai! Look, I saved a dumpling from earlier!"

Ignoring Tobi's words, Deidara squinted at a light he could see approaching in the distance. "Tobi, hide!"

Scrambling to their feet, they both ended up diving into the muddy bushes, leaving Deidara to wonder why he had to hide like this for two days consecutively. When the light finally arrived, they discovered it belonged to Naruto Uzumaki and Sakura Haruno.

They both wore white cloaks, rimmed with two strips of red at the base. Naruto had chakra on his hand, which he had used to light the way. "I could've sworn I saw something here Sakura! I swear!" he scratched at the back of his head and laughed nervously.

"You might be right Naruto, look"

Like Naruto, Deidara also followed her hand to where she was pointing.

On the ground lay an abandoned dumpling stick.

Meanwhile, in the bushes opposite Tobi cringed. He could see faintly through the leaves Deidara's eyes glaring back at him. All Tobi could do now was pray that the jinchuriki and Sakura would leave.

Suddenly, Sakura appeared right in front of Tobi's face. "There you are!" she roared and swung a punch at him. Quickly though, Tobi leapt back so that he was standing on top of a half fallen tree.

"Senpai! Use your clay!"

"Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Naruto yelled and instantly Tobi and Deidara found themselves surrounded by thousands of clones. Deidara stayed crouched in his bush, but he could hear the clones beginning to converge on Tobi.

"Senpai! Quick!"

"Oh no you don't!" Sakura shouted, and grabbed Tobi by the back of his robe, swinging him down into the mass of clones.

Letting loose a girly scream, Tobi transported so that he appeared several yards away, but a few clones still clung to his cloak.

Whilst Naruto and Sakura were distracted by Tobi, Deidara slowly began to crawl away from where they were standing, but someone yanked on his hair. "Hey girl, where do you think you're going?" Naruto growled and Deidara turned around.

"What did you just call me?"

Deidara was pretty sure the jinchuriki had just called him a girl. "_Girl_? You think I'm a girl?" He threw a kick at Naruto and they began to fight. Clones turned to smoke around them and Sakura leapt away to give Naruto space to fight.

"Are you the bastards who blew up my house!?" Naruto shouted, blocking a kick from Deidara.

"Humph! So what if we were?" he replied with a smirk, and that was when he noticed the bag tied around Naruto's waist. "My clay!" he spat and dodged Naruto's fist.

Quickly, he then barrelled into Naruto with enough force to send them both sprawling onto the ground. Scuffling on the floor, the two kicked each other and rolled around, Naruto trying to stab Deidara with his kunei. "Naruto! Be careful!" Sakura yelled.

"Goooo Senpai!" Tobi cheered enthusiastically from the side.

Finally, Deidara managed to snap the cord that tied his bag to Naruto's waist and he grabbed a handful of clay his hand then devoured. He then leapt back to stand besides Tobi, and Naruto climbed back to his feet "You bastard"

"Ha!" Deidara smirked "Looks like we win this fight, nine tails. Just remember," he summoned a large bird and jumped onto its back "Art, is an explosion!"

Throwing down several bombs in the leaf ninja's direction, Deidara and his bird took flight, grabbing Tobi in its claws as it did so. "No Senpai! Ayieehhhh!"

After the night passed and the morning came once again, Deidara discovered a safe place to land within a hillside valley. It was another scenic area, with sloping green hills and large slate coloured mountains. They landed their bird beside a river, and it then dissipated in a cloud of smoke.

"Why didn't you tell me you had no clay Senpai?" Tobi asked, dusting at his crumpled uniform.

"Humph, like I'd tell you" Deidara replied, seating himself on a fallen log.

It had been a long night once again, and Deidara wasn't in the mood to make up an excuse. Even the sounds of the river didn't improve his mood, and he was conscious of the fact that they still hadn't found a new Akatsuki hideout.

"Ooo, hey look Senpai" Tobi pointed with a gloved hand "Isn't that a cave over there?"

It was indeed, and a very conveniently placed cave if that. The entrance was pretty open, but Deidara figured a sealed door could be put in place with just a little building work. "Tobi my man, looks like we just completed our mission" he then clapped his partner on the back and Tobi leapt up and down.

"Oh boy! Pain's gonna like this for once!"


	3. Kisame and Itachi

**A/N: Starting from now, I'm planning on releasing a new chapter weekly! Thanks for all the reviews and visits to my story, keep reading to find out what happens next!**

**Akatsuki Adventures!**

**Chapter Three: Kisame and Itachi**

The two Akatsuki had to travel far in order to reach Deidara's new location of choice. Itachi could see how bored Kisame appeared to be, Samehada slung over his shoulder, and a frown on his face. He himself, was also tired of walking, and wondered why Deidara had chosen to go so far.

Pain had told them both to venture with caution, as often Deidara and Tobi would attract numerous dangers wherever they went. Although, Itachi did have to admit, the rolling landscape was indeed beautiful, a scenic mountainous valley with serene running waters and forests of trees.

Kisame wasn't feeling it. "Ugh, there's hardly any water _anywhere_" he frowned, "I know there's a river and everything, but still… not any lakes" he continued to grumble for a while until eventually they came across a fork in the road.

Itachi, who before had had his arm slung inside his Akatsuki robe, lifted his hand to tip up the brim of his hat. There appeared to be a small sign indicating as to which routes he should take.

However, Itachi could not make out what the sign said.

Wanting to make himself seem competent, Itachi turned and went right. Kisame followed bored behind him, hardly paying attention to the route Itachi had decided on.

For ages, they ended up walking slightly away from the mountains and discovered a little abandoned house hidden in the trees. Now Kisame was confused, "Are you sure we went the right way?"

Itachi was certain they had gone the wrong way, but refused to admit he had not been able to read the sign, and so went inside the house.

It was dark once inside, and cool too, which was good, as outside the sun had been beating down on them all morning. Itachi sat cross-legged on the floor and closed his eyes.

After his partner sat down, Kisame wandered into the kitchen to have a look around. On the counters there were abandoned cooking utensils, and a light dusting of flour. _How strange_, he thought to himself as he ran a finger through the powder, _maybe this house isn't abandoned after all_?

* * *

Meanwhile, at the Akatsuki hideout, Deidara and Tobi were preparing to welcome Itachi and Kisame. Tobi was humming to himself whilst hanging up a flower above the caves entrance. Deidara came towards him, a fowl expression on his face. "Tobi, what are you doing?"

"Decorating for Itachi-san and Kisame-san, Senpai" Tobi frowned from under his mask "Why?"

Rubbing his temples, Deidara sighed. "Tobi, why would we hang up flowers to welcome two S-ranked shinobi?"

Personally Tobi couldn't see why this was a problem, and became offended, "You would rather I don't decorate at all, Senpai? That's pretty lazy if you ask m-"

Deidara held up a hand to silence him "Take them down or I'll take you down" to emphasise his point, he shook the leg of the ladder causing Tobi to wobble around.

"Senpai! Stop!" he wrapped the ladder in an embrace, clinging on for dear life, "Fine! I'll take it down…"

Afterwards, Deidara left and Tobi sadly took down the flower he had taken all morning to place.

* * *

Back at the house, Itachi finished resting and decided to stretch his legs. Before going to look for Kisame, he headed out onto the porch so that he could lean against the railing.

The sun was sinking ever so lower into the sky by now, and Itachi suspected they would have to travel partly through the night. It was his fault, he was aware of that, but the less time they spent with Deidara and Tobi the better.

That was when Itachi noticed a light climbing over the hill in the distance. Quickly, he backed back inside of the house and hid behind a curtain. Peering out from behind it slightly, he could just make out four blurred figures walking down the pathway towards the house.

One of them was Sasuke.

The First thing Itachi noticed about his brother, was that he was wearing uniform from the Sound. His comrades appeared to be from mixed affiliations; a boy with white hair, who kept drinking from a little pink plastic water bottle; a red haired girl with glasses; and a large man who carried a bird on his shoulder. Sasuke himself led the way, and was even swinging a set of keys on his finger.

Fast as lighting, Itachi raced into the kitchen to discover Kisame baking, singing to himself as he did do. "Kisame!" Itachi hissed and his partner glanced over his shoulder, a look of confusion on his face.

"What's the matter?"

"There's people here, Sasuke and some other ninja"

Kisame had known the house hadn't been abandoned, but he never suspected it had belonged to ninja, yet alone Itachi's brother, "Do you think Sasuke has been hiding here for a while?"

Before Itachi could answer, he was cut short by the sound of the front door creaking open. This made Kisame frown, he was big and it would be difficult to hide.

"Scatter" Itachi whispered and turned to sneak into another room.

Kisame managed to make his way upstairs, and swiftly ducked behind a shower curtain he found in the bathroom. Downstairs he could hear the ninja talking, "Suigetsu! You left the lights on again!" a girl huffed and Kisame heard the flicking of switches.

"Um, no I didn't, Karin, that was probably you"

"You were the last one out,_ idiot_, it's your responsibility!" Unlike the boy she was arguing with, her voice was fairly chaotic.

"Quiet" said a voice that was similar to Itachi's in manner of speech, "There's sounds coming from the kitchen"

Kisame panicked, he was pretty sure he had left the stove on, ready to begin baking an apple pie. Suddenly someone gently lifted back the curtain, and Itachi raised a finger to his mouth. Kisame blinked and then followed him, and both Akatsuki moved as quiet as ghosts whilst downstairs there was uproar in the kitchen about who had left the stove on.

Silently, they crept single file down the stairs, Kisame taking extra caution as to where he shifted his weight.

They both flinched suddenly as the sound of glass smashing echoed out from the kitchen. "Geez Karin! Take it easy I was only joking!" someone yelled.

More shouting ensued, and with a look of relief Itachi finally reached the door. Both of them then crept outside. Upon turning to close the door however, Itachi noticed a small sign by the doorbell which read:

**Sasuke's House**

Feeling a little stupid, he pulled the sign down. Kisame shot him a funny look and they both hurried away back down the path they had once came.

* * *

Back at the hideout…

Having waited up for hours, Deidara had gone to bed about half an hour ago. Tobi and him, had not started to live in the cave just yet, and had instead set up a small wooden shed to sleep in.

Tobi felt the shed didn't quite reach his expectations of home comforts, and doubted that Pain would be any more impressed. Yet, Deidara was too lazy to begin working on the construction work and Tobi couldn't complain about not having to do any jobs.

In fact, Tobi had been enjoying himself thoroughly, exploring the landscape and discovering all the animals that lived there. But now, he was cold, and he wished that Kisame and Itachi would hurry up. He doubted that they would be impressed with the shed either, especially seeing as there was no room for them, meaning they would have to sleep in the cave.

The more Tobi waited, the more he wanted to disobey Deidara, and so silently, he got up from where he was sat and headed downhill towards the caves entrance.

It was abandoned at night, the remnants of work they had done during the day lay on the floor: a piece of wood, an axe and a small red flower. Tobi picked up the flower and held it between his fingers by the stem, it just looked so sad and small on the floor of the dimly lit cave, abandoned in haste.

_I'll do you proud, sweet innocent flower._ Tobi then thought in determination_, I plucked you from this hard-beaten earth so that I may raise you from your soil stained status, and hang you in the sky_!

With newfound resolution Tobi then gripped both sides of the ladder- the stem of the flower he had slipped inside his eyehole, the leaves now brushed against his cheek, and he was ready to climb.

Rung after rung, he ascended the ladder until finally he came nose to nose with a piece of string he had attached there earlier.

He tied the flower.

He was so high up, that anyone passing beneath him, would never notice him unless they had known he was up there…

* * *

Kisame had not been _too_ angry, when Itachi finally told him about his earlier slip up, but he hadn't talked to him since either. Eventually though, they arrived at a little valley, and could see lights in the distance escaping out from a cave. "This isn't so bad" Itachi admitted and beside him Kisame nodded in agreement.

"Looks like they've already set things up for us" he agreed.

"Yep, now, let's act all badass so Tobi's afraid of us" Itachi announced, readjusting the sign he had stolen underneath his arm.

"Sounds fun" Kisame chuckled and they walked towards the cave.

Inside there was nothing but a ladder.

Itachi walked underneath, a look of disappointment on his face and Kisame followed suit.

However, Kisame was bigger than Itachi, and his shoulder hit the side of the ladder. There was a yelp from above and Tobi and the ladder came crashing down on Kisame. "Aah! You IDIOT!" he spluttered and Tobi squealed.

"Kisame-san!"

From the ground Itachi picked up a small flower and looked at his comrade who lay crushed on the floor, he wondered how this dismal cave would ever pass as an Akatsuki hideout and let out a sigh.

Behind them all, Deidara came into the cave with haste, and faltered at the sight of an extremely angry Kisame throttling Tobi. He raised an eyebrow and Itachi shook his head, "Deidara, I would've thought that you and Tobi would've set things up for us by now… I'm disappointed"

He squished the flower and Deidara frowned.


	4. Deidara's New Art!

**A/N: Hello readers! I hope you're enjoying the holidays. First of all I'd like to apologise for not putting this up until now, I mean, is it Tuesday already? D: Either way, secondly, I'd like to hope you enjoy this new chapter :D **

**Akatsuki Adventures!**

**Chapter Four: Deidara's New Art**

Soon after the arrival of Kisame and Itachi, things started to go downhill for Tobi.

When he had first come to the new hideout with Deidara, work had been easy and the days short. Now, Itachi and Kisame had him working to the bone, whilst they collected wood to build themselves a temporary shelter.

"Oh Senpai, this sucks so bad" he moaned whilst Deidara stood on the ladder, measuring the caves entrance. Tobi was gripping the ladder tightly, but still it wobbled slightly whenever his attention wavered.

Deidara wobbled and swung his arms around in circular motions, "Tobi!" he snapped, clutching at the rungs, "If you don't hold that ladder still I swear I'll-"

"You'll do what, Senpai?" Tobi sniggered in a moment of sweet rebelliousness.

The look Deidara gave him was enough to make him realise he'd made a mistake. Slowly, Deidara descended the ladder.

Tobi backed away. "Listen!" Deidara growled walking towards him and prodding him on the chest, "Just remember who the Senpai is here, hmm? Now get out of my sight!"

Hurriedly, Tobi scurried away so that Deidara wouldn't hit him. Deidara had to admit the silence tasted sweet, and it was in that silence that an idea finally came to mind.

Instead of just building a wall over the hideout's entrance, why couldn't he create a piece of art over it instead?

Deidara could picture it now, I giant clay entrance. Surely many ninja would come to attack the hideout over the years? And surely that would mean letting explosives down on his piece of art.

He could almost taste the destruction.

Out loud. Deidara laughed to himself and begun to adjust the ladder.

* * *

Around the corner, Deidara was laughing like a madman.

This made Tobi feel a little uncomfortable, and so he left and begun to climb the little stairs Kisame had built up to his house. It was neat inside, but at night when all four of them were cramped inside, the little shelter felt like a cage.

Tobi stood at the sink in the little kitchen and flicked the kettle on. That was when he spied Kisame's apron.

Quickly, he fastened it around his waist and pulled a fish face. "Iiiiiiiiii'm Kisame!" he declared, pointing a wooden spoon at the window.

His spoon coincidently, pointed to where Deidara was climbing the mountainside. Tobi leant forwards on the counter in order to get a better look, "I wonder what you're doing senpai?" he questioned aloud, tapping the spoon against his mask.

Eventually Deidara reached the top so that he was on top of the cave. _Senpai must be measuring it from above now that he has no one to hold his ladder_! This thought made Tobi feel rather superior, eventually Deidara would have to call him back, after all, he was obviously struggling without Tobi's assistance.

* * *

Outside, Deidara was enjoying the solitude. He stood at the top of the hideout, gazing down at the brilliant mountainside that surrounded the valley.

He imagined bombs raining down on that valley, who needed _eternal_ bloody art?

He spotted Tobi came strolling out from the little house and Deidara felt his mood darken. Just the sight of his faceless partner, cruising down those stone steps, made his blood boil.

More annoyingly, Tobi decided to talk to Deidara and so he called up to him. "Oooo Senpai? Whatcha doing up there?" he asked nosily, clasping his hands behind his back and shaking his butt. Deidara had a feeling that Tobi would eventually have come running back, after all, he had no other hobbies…

"Tobi, my man. I am creating a clay masterpiece, to illuminate our Akatsuki hideout!"

"Um Senpai? Isn't a hideout meant to be secret?"

"We're up in the mountains Tobi? Who's going to see it?"

"Bu-"

"How is it… That I've had enough of you again already?! Go away!" Deidara leered over the edge and glared at Tobi.

With a tiny squeak, Tobi scurried away.

* * *

Grumpily, Tobi made his way through the woods to find Kisame and Itachi. He wouldn't admit to Deidara, that without him it was boring, but he also didn't want to help Deidara after he'd been rude.

"Psst" a voice hissed from a bush and Tobi leant back in fear.

"Wh-Who's there?" he asked cautiously and out from the bush stepped a moustached man in a cloak.

He didn't appear to be a shinobi, and he also didn't seem to have any affiliation with any of the villages. "Who are you?" Tobi squeaked and the man lifted his hood for Tobi.

"I-"he paused dramatically here, "Am a wandering magician by the name of- um, Carlos!" he bowed theatrically and Tobi felt delight rise up in his chest.

"Haaaa!" he squealed and clapped his hands together, "Can you do the rabbit trick?"

"Well, no, you see the problem is I seem to have lost my magic"

Tobi was then overcome by a feeling of disparity.

What wandering magician, could live with themselves knowing they had lost their magic? The one thing that made them a magician?

Silently, he vowed to help Carlos.

"How can I assist you?!" he demanded, wanting to restore Carlos' former glory, so that he could pull a rabbit out of a hat for him.

"Well…" Carlos began, "First of all I could really do with some food, but shh my friend, don't let anyone know of my existence. I'll be waiting here".

Doing jazz hands, Carlos retreating back into the bush.

Tobi could only think of one place he would be able to find food.

* * *

Somewhere deep in the woods, Kisame and Itachi worked chopping wood. It was coming up to lunchtime, and Itachi couldn't wait to eat some of the food Kisame had prepared for them.

He couldn't remember what it was exactly, but he hoped Kisame had made sandwiches, no one made sandwiches like Kisame.

He collected the last of the wood, and brought it to where Kisame was loading it into a wheelbarrow. "This is enough wood now, I think" Kisame said, taking the wood from Itachi's hands, "We should have enough now to finish making ourselves a shelter"

"Uh, Kisame." Itachi replied hesitantly, "Shall we eat lunch now?"

"Oh yeah! It's that time already, the baskets just through there" he gestured towards a gap in the trees, which lead to a clearing where a log sat conveniently for storytelling purposes.

Itachi could've sworn the basket had been sitting on that log earlier. Dismissing his doubts as just faults to his eyesight, he began to search the treeline, in case he stumbled across the basket.

Eventually Kisame came to look for him and made a surprised noise, "Was the basket not on the log?"

"Uh, no?" Itachi frowned.

"Oh no!" Kisame panicked, "Itachi! Someone's stolen our lunch!"

Itachi looked towards the trees, wondering what wicked person would do such a thing.

* * *

Tobi came to Carlos to drop the basket at his feet. "Excellent" Carlos hissed and reached in for a sandwich.

Tobi mistook the demonic look in Carlos' face as hunger and sat beside him whilst he devoured a sandwich. "Has your magic come back yet Mr Magician?"

Carlos laughed, "No, my friend, not yet. There is one more thing we must do"

Tobi had hoped to see a rabbit by lunchtime, but he understood that magic was a technical business. "What can I do for you next?" he asked as Carlos finished the last of Kisame's sandwiches.

It was all for a greater good, so Tobi didn't feel _too_ guilty.

"Now" Carlos begun, standing to his feet, "To earn my magic back I'm going to need some coin"

Fast as a snake, Tobi produced three coins from his pocket, and a lollipop. "Oops!" he laughed nervously, "That's not meant to be in there!" he handed the coins to Carlos, who pocketed them.

"Alas, my friend, we are going to need more than this" he looked towards the distance, "And I know just the place we can find it"

The place that Carlos led Tobi to, was the hideout. On the top of the cave, Deidara still stood, working busily with some clay.

Carlos placed his hands on Tobi's shoulders from behind and hissed in his ear, "See her up there? She has not one purse, but two at her side, can you see?"

Tobi felt he could see much better than Carlos, seeing as Senpai was a guy. He laughed unsurely, "Those aren't purses, those are Deidara's clay- Hang on a minute!" he turned away from Carlos and begun to back away, "You want me to _steal_ from Senpai!"

Carlos laughed. Tobi stepped forwards.

"I won't! In fact, I'll stop you!"

"Foolish little man," Carlos grinned, "You believed every word I said, but now I don't need you, I'll take that money myself"

Like a frog, he leapt over Tobi's head and ran towards the mountain.

"Nooooooooo" Tobi yelled and pursued after him, he had to warn Deidara.

When Carlos disappeared from Tobi's sight, he headed towards the base of the hideout so that he could call up to Deidara. "Senpai! Senpai!" he shouted, and Deidara peered over the edge.

"What did I tell you Tobi? Go AWAY!" he threw a rock and it exploded into dust near to Tobi's feet.

"Ayieh! Senpai, you have to listen to me" he waved his arms around to grab Deidara's attention, "There's a man called Carlos here and he lied he was a magician to me and he-"

"Tobi! If you spout one more word of crap I'll-"

Behind Deidara, Tobi saw Carlos rise holding some of Deidara's detonating clay.

"Nooooooo don't throw that!" Tobi yelped and then ducked away, Deidara turned around just as the clay came straight towards him.

With an explosion similar to that of someone slamming a door, Deidara was enveloped in smoke. Tobi then watched in awe, as his comrade was thrown by the explosion in an arc that propelled him from the mountainside, and down into a small pond which sat nearby.

_Senpai is going to kill me_! Tobi thought, imagining Deidara's furious face.

On top of the cave, Carlos reached into Deidara's clay bags expecting to find money. He frowned at Deidara's precious clay, "You let go of that!" Tobi fumed, "That clay is worth much more to Deidara, than your stupid coins!"

Carlos gave Tobi an incredulous look, "This mud?"

He threw Deidara's bags down, and Tobi fumbled to catch them all in one piece. He then cast them aside and stood tall pointing at Carlos, "You're a mean man"

Carlos laughed again, "Ha! Oh well, I suppose I should thank you, my idiot. I did have a good lunch because of you" he dusted his hands, "Those sandwiches were great"

"SO THAT'S WHERE THEY WENT!" a voice yelled behind Carlos.

Iatchi stood with his sharingan on, and grabbed Carlos by the cloak, "Mangekyo Sharingan"

Later that evening: Tobi, Kisame, Itachi and Deidara. Sat around a table sharing a meal. None of them mentioned Carlos, and none of them mentioned Deidara's injuries, but still Tobi could feel his Senpai's eyes tearing through his soul.

Little did Deidara know, was that Tobi had lost his clay bags during all the excitement earlier.

Quietly, without a word, Tobi took a sip of his tea. Dreading the moment he'd have to tell him.


	5. The Money Situation (part one)

**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I have not had a chance to write in a while! Been super busy unfortunately, but I'm back now and ready to write :D !**

**Akatsuki Adventures**

**Chapter Five: The Money Situation**

A few days after the whole 'Carlos' incident, Tobi was eager to please everyone by doing tasks for them.

On his own he collected wood, gathered food, helped Deidara reach high places and served Kisame iced lemonade much to Itachi's quiet disapproval. In fact, Tobi was becoming so efficient that Itachi begun to wonder how he was able to even accomplish all these many tasks. "Tobi?" he asked one morning,

"Yes Itachi-kun?"

"How are you getting all the money to do all this? It's not that I doubt your intentions- don't get me wrong" Itachi was making his best attempts to be polite whilst addressing the situation "-but, I would've thought that, with the funds we currently have, all this service stuff you've been doing should be impossible"

Tobi thought for roughly one second before he spoke, and it was only afterwards he realised that maybe he would've benefited from a little more thoughtful response.

"Well Itachi… We're in debt"

A short meeting was called shortly afterwards.

Now Itachi sat rubbing his temples at the kitchen table. Tobi was in his chair, seemingly oblivious to the problems he had caused as he swung his legs backwards and forwards. Kisame looked as if he were trying to calculate how many lemonades he had been ordering and Deidara just looked angry as usual.

"How on earth did you manage to get us in debt!" he growled and Tobi was brought back to reality, "It's only been _TWO_ days!"

"Hey" Itachi reasoned, "Debt can happen to the best of us, let Tobi explain first"

All three of them then looked simultaneously at Tobi, who twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Well," he began quietly "It happened on the first day that you guys got me to do things for you"

"The first day!?" Deidara piped up and Itachi silenced him with a hand,

"Mhm" Tobi nodded, "I'M SORRY SENPAI!" he then wailed, throwing himself at Deidara's feet and crying on his sandals, Deidara leaned away and Tobi continued, "YOU ORDERED ALL THOSE BRICKS AND I JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PAY FOR THEM!" he continued to cry and Itachi felt a wave of pity.

He pulled Tobi to his feet and Tobi flinched, "Why did you flinch?" Itachi grew cross quickly

"I-I-I thought you were going to use mangekyo sharingan on me"

"Why would I do that!?"

"Well…." Kisame spoke hesitantly, "You did use it on that con-artist…"

"I didn't know he wasn't a dangerous ninja! Tobi and Deidara made him appear to be stronger than he actually was!"

"He's still in hospital" Tobi then informed Itachi.

Itachi didn't care, "We have more _pressing_ issues to attend to, don't you think?"

Everyone returned to their seats and Itachi sipped his tea, which was actually just boiled water as they couldn't afford tea. "You guys know what we're going to have to do right?" he addressed the group.

"There's only one person I know who can make money…" Kisame said out loud.

"Oh no! Not him!" Tobi squeaked and Deidara looked afraid.

"That's right" Itachi sipped his boiled water, "We're going to have to call Kakuzu and tell him we're in debt"

Shortly after this decision was made, Tobi was voted to be the one who made the call.

* * *

Life was marginally better where Kakuzu and Hidan were. In fact, Hidan was enjoying his time off, and sat outside a collection office in the sun, whilst Kakuzu delivered a body.

Beside him Kakuzu's mobile rung and Hidan answered it even though Kakuzu always told him not to, "Yeah-low?"

"'I'M SORRY KAKUZU" Hidan cringed away from the sound of Tobi's wailing voice.

"Cut that out! You're wailing like a banshee, whaddya want?" if it were one thing Hidan couldn't stand, it was Tobi.

"Oh it's you Hidan" Tobi sounded disappointed, "I'd like to speak with Kakuzu if you'd LET me" he then said shortly.

"Well… Kakuzu's BUSY, so you can give me a message to pass on"

* * *

On the other side of the phone Tobi saw this as a way of avoiding Kakuzu's rage.

* * *

"Sure" a voice replied superiorly on the other side and Hidan rolled his eyes, "Please inform Kakuzu that we are several thousand yen in debt, and need him to come to the new site. Thanks" and with that Tobi hung up.

"BASTARD!" Hidan roared and tossed the phone back into Kakuzu's bag.

He had to get out of here fast, then hopefully Tobi would call back and tell Kakuzu, by then Hidan could be long gone.

"Where are you going?" a voice sighed behind him and Hidan turned.

"Kakuzu!" he exclaimed, "I was just-"

"Never mind, I just realised that I don't care. C'mon let's go, there's another office we need to visit"

His Akatsuki partner begun to walk and Hidan followed, wondering how he was going to tell him that, one: he had checked Kakuzu's phone; and two: Tobi had gotten Akatsuki in debt.

"So, what are you gonna do with the money this time Kakuzu" Hidan asked nosily, peering at the briefcase.

"I thought I'd buy you some rope"

Hidan didn't need to think for long to realise what the rope was for, and so he shut up. Now was definitely not a good time to tell Kakuzu. Yet then again, leaving it till later was probably a worse idea.

"Hey Kakuzu!"

"What?" his partner turned irritably.

"I see you! Look! That rhymed. Hey Kakuzu, I see you!"

"That doesn't rhyme, Hidan…"

"Say it like me then! Hey ka-ka-zu! I see you! See it does rhyme"

"No it doesn't"

"Akatsuki's in debt!" Hidan continued in the same cheerful tone.

The extreme violence that followed after revealing this news to Kakuzu was something that Hidan was never likely to forget. With enough rage to conquer all five great nations, Kakuzu made way to the new location, and Hidan struggled to keep up.

"How can they get SEVERAL THOUSAND YEN in debt!?" he roared

"Probably buying cheese" Hidan nodded, "I would've spent it on cheese"

Kakuzu stopped suddenly and Hidan crashed into the back of him. For a second they both flailed and then suddenly Kakuzu pitched forwards. Hidan could feel himself falling also and realised that he had just knocked both him and Kakuzu down into a hole.

Both yelling they fell in a heap at the base of the cave and Kakuzu punched Hidan in the stomach, "Get UP! Or I'll kill you!"

Hidan scrambled to his feet and looked around, behind him Kakuzu did the same, trying to remove all trace of Hidan by furiously brushing at his cloak.

"C'mon Kakuzu I don't have germs!"

"Whatever…" Kakuzu's eyes moved to Hidan, "Look… WHAT YOU DID!"

Somehow, despite falling several metres, Kakuzu had still managed to cling to the briefcase. "Hey!" Hidan pointed at it, "If you had let that heavy briefcase go, we wouldn't have fallen!"

"Let it go? Huh! You're stupider than I thought you were, how else are we going to pay Akatsuki's debt?"

"Well we can't pay it from inside here!"

"Do you have a better way of earning money Hidan? Cause if you do I'm waiting to hear it!"

"We need to calm down and work together" Hidan reasoned.

"You're the reason we're in this situation!" Kakuzu swung at him and Hidan ducked

"Hey Kakuzu! You can't do that!"

"Watch me" string wrapped around Hidan's throat and he kicked his legs furiously,

"Wait! Kakuzu! I have an idea!"

"What?"

"Seriously you're going to strangle me whilst I tell you?" Kakuzu shrugged and gestured for him to continue as he dropped him. "Well, you could lift me outta here using that string of yours"

**To be continued…**

**A/N: Sorry guys, but I thought I'd split this one into two chapters otherwise it would be really long to read! :) Stay tuned to find out how Hidan's plan goes… or if it goes at all to be honest. Phew!**


	6. The Money Situation (part two)

**A/N: Hi everyone! :D Now that I'm back into the swing of things I'll be continuing with just a chapter a week as I was before ^^ Thanks for everyone who's read this, it means a lot :)!**

**Akatsuki Adventures**

**Chapter Five: The Money Situation**

"_Lift_ you out of here?" Kakuzu didn't even attempt to hide the contempt in his voice.

"Yeah!"

"Ok?"

Both Akatsuki then positioned themselves so that they were standing next to the wall of the hole. Kakuzu briefly placed his suitcase down on the ground and Hidan watched the suitcase wobble slightly on the uneven ground. He frowned, if anything were to happen to Kakuzu's money… well, it wasn't really worth thinking about.

"Whatever you do don't drop me!" he stressed to Kakuzu, "We're friends, friends don't drop each other!"

"Don't be weird!" Kakuzu growled and wrapped string around Hidan's neck,

"Not the neck!" he exclaimed but Kakuzu ignored him and began to lift him upwards. Hidan could practically feel his face going purple and tried pulling at the strings. Down below he could see Kakuzu's emotionless face. "Hey Kakuzu! LOOSEN THE ROPE WOULD YA?" he shook himself which caused Kakuzu to shift his feet to balance Hidan's weight.

Unfortunately, he moved his foot into the suitcase and it fell on its side. This wasn't too much of a problem, but then the case began to slide and disappeared into the deeper darker recesses of the hole.

"My money!" Kakuzu noticed, eyes wide. He completely forgot Hidan and let go suddenly.

"KAKUZU!" Hidan yelped as he fell back down into the hole. With a thud he landed by Kakuzu's feet, his partner looked down at him furiously. "Hey" Hidan complained rubbing his back as he helped himself to his feet, "What did I tell ya? Friends DON'T drop friends, it's like a trust fall, yeah?"

"I'll give you a trust fall" Kakuzu threatened, "Thanks to you we lost the money!"

"All you ever think about is money Kakuzu! Aren't you glad I'm alive at least?"

"DON'T BE WEIRD!" Kakuzu yelled grabbing a fistful of Hidan's robe, "You're going to have to go down there to get that suitcase!"

"Why me? YOU do it" Hidan struggled defiantly and the two began to grapple and push each other. Shoving an elbow into Kakuzu's stomach, Hidan attempted to shove him further down the hole, but Kakuzu grabbed Hidan's sleeve and pulled himself behind him. Now Hidan was being shoved from behind as Kakuzu barrelled into his back, pushing with all his might. Hidan set his feet to avoid falling and tried to dodge out of the way so that Kakuzu would lose balance.

At first he did, and he stumbled slightly, but at the edge of the hole he regained his composure and stepped sideways just as Hidan tried to run at him.

Wordlessly, and with the grace of a swan, Hidan flew forwards down into the hole.

Cautiously, Kakuzu shifted slowly towards the edge. Curious as to where Hidan had landed, he peered downwards just in time to see his partner reach up and grab his leg, "Bastard!" he yelled as Hidan managed to pull Kakuzu from the ledge.

Both Akatsuki fell, once again, deeper into the cave.

"YOU IDIOT!" Kakuzu yelled into the darkness swiping a fist, he hit something made of flesh,

"OW!"

Satisfied after having hit Hidan, Kakuzu begun to rummage around in his pockets. Eventually, he produced a budget flashlight and switched it on, the light it made was barely visible in the darkness.

"What kind of a flashlight doesn't make light?" Hidan grumbled,

"Shut up" Kakuzu growled and begun to search the floor, eventually he managed to locate the suitcase and swiftly picked it up. He had to admit, it felt good to feel the weight of money under his arm once again.

There was a buzzing and Kakuzu shuffled around a bit so that he could answer his phone, "Hello?"

"Oh! Ah-ha! Ah-ha!" (More nervous laughter followed for quite some time) "It's you Kakuzu!?" Tobi appeared to be surprised that Kakuzu was the one who'd answered his own phone,

"Of course it's me"

"Are you nearly here? Um, Itachi was wondering and I was told to call you..."

Kakuzu was enveloped by a fury and he cleared his throat, "HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO RACK UP SO MUCH DEBT?"

Suddenly Tobi was having connection problems. Fake static sounded on the over side of the line, "I'm sorry, krrsh! What was that Kakuzu? KRRSH, I'm losing signal, you must be- krrsh- going through a- um- TUNNEL! Bye!" and with that Tobi hung up the phone.

Kakuzu impaled the device against the wall and Hidan watched with an eyebrow raised, "Phones are expensive Kakuzu"

"Don't worry I hear Tobi has a piggy bank, and that it _squeals_ when you break it"

Hidan wondered if Kakuzu meant to break Tobi. "If only we had more light" he then wondered out loud to himself.

"Maybe Jasshin will bright up the cave if you pray" Kakuzu replied sarcastically,

"Hey! Don't disrespect my God, OK?"

"Whatever, got any new ideas?"

"We could try you lifting me again?"

"No way, I won't risk losing this again," Kakuzu shook the case to emphasise, "Besides I asked if you had any _new_ ideas"

"Well… There is one I s'pose" Hidan tapped at his chin thoughtfully, "I just don't think you're gonna like it…"

Kakuzu sighed, "At this point… I'm willing to try anything"

Two minutes later Hidan and Kakuzu sat crouched on the floor. Carefully, as if he were handling a bomb, Kakuzu lifted the lid of the case then watched suspiciously as Hidan picked up a pile of money.

Slowly, Hidan began to gently lift away the elastic band that held the pile together. Kakuzu could feel sweat on the back of his neck and watched fearfully as Hidan lowered the money back into the suitcase.

Kakuzu held up a palm and Hidan dropped the band there. _That's one down_, he thought to himself as his Akatsuki partner begun to remove the band on the next pile.

They repeated this ridiculously cautious 'band-removing' process until each and every last rubber band had been removed.

Then, using the bands, they attached kunai to their feet. With a nod to each other they both then faced the wall.

Kakuzu had attached the suitcase to his back using string and both were ready to ascend the wall. Slamming a foot into the wall, Hidan was pleased to see it work and lifted a leg to attach his next foot.

Like spiders, they crawled up the wall and arrived huffing and puffing back to where they originally had fallen. Hidan was grateful to see sunlight again.

After refusing to help Hidan up, Kakuzu begun to climb the next wall and solemnly Hidan followed. Eventually they were both free and Hidan leapt for joy, "Awh-yeah! That's what I'm talking about! Hey Kakuzu?"

"What?" Kakuzu snapped, removing the kunai from his feet,

"Guess teamwork really pays off in the end, eh?" Hidan nudged Kakuzu in the side with an elbow.

The suitcase swung up to smack Hidan on the back of the head.

"Stop. Being. WEIRD!"

"OW!"

After a brief disagreement as to which way they should be headed, both Akatsuki members continued their journey towards their new home. Little did they know they were about to be thoroughly disappointed.

"How big do you think our accommodation is Kakuzu?"

"Big, I hear the site's huge"

"Yess! Sweet!" Hidan celebrated as they came to the top of a hill.

Below in the valley was not what they'd expected at all. At the centre sat a small wooden shack with a small chimney puffing smoke. Across from that was a large natural looking cave covered in scaffolding where someone blonde was walking up and down the top.

"It looks like a bloody construction site" Hidan cried and Kakuzu closed his eyes to allow his anger to boil, he felt a vein pulse near his forehead and strode down the hillside. He made a beeline towards Tobi who stood at the base of the cave.

* * *

Unaware of the imminent danger he was in, Tobi stood calling up to Deidara. "Senpai! You've been up there all afternoon, come down for tea!"

In his arms, he held a tray of steaming tea, alongside that sat a plate of freshly baked cookies. Deidara's face peered over the edge and Tobi saw his senpai's eyes widen.

"I know right!? They look good don't they?" Tobi beamed, glad to have his senpai's approval. Suddenly, from behind he was pushed forwards.

With a scream Tobi flung his tray to avoid spilling hot tea down himself, as a result he landed face down in the mud, only to feel a sandal press into the back of his head.

"Going through a tunnel was I?" a familiar voice growled.

* * *

From above Hidan wondered, _how am I going to survive living in this cramped little valley?_

Below Deidara was struggling to tear Kakuzu away from hitting Tobi.

_It's just so small… _

Tobi shrieked and wailed like a little girl.

_I need a room to pray in… eat in… sleep in… _

Kakuzu flung Deidara away and with a sigh Hidan went to go and join them in the valley below.


	7. An Unlikely Pair Arrive?

**A/N: Hello people! :-D I've been having a great week so far, so I hope you have too ^^ I also hope you like this chapter ^^ Stay fun! :)**

**Akatsuki Adventures**

**Chapter Six: An Unlikely pair arrive!?**

Sasori's face fell. He was sitting across from Pain in his office, legs crossed, inspecting his hand- when his leader decided to drop the bomb. Not even a real bomb (like Deidara's inferior art) but a bomb of information that Sasori disliked. "Come again, Pain?" he finally asked after a very long silence, "But did you just say that _Tobi_ has replaced me as Deidara's partner?"

"Um, yes" Pain fidgeted slightly under Sasori's intense gaze, he was pretty sure Sasori never blinked.

"And, are you also telling me that not only have I been _replaced_, but Deidara is now of a rank fairly equal to me?"

"Well… that depends… Deidara might _still_ respect you"

Sasori doubted very much that a puny amateur artist like Deidara would ever respect him ever again, after all… once you put that type of person on a pedestal there was no bringing them back down… Calmly, Sasori fanned himself with a piece of paper he was holding.

"Sasori?"

"Hmm?" Sasori said, only half listening. Having no Akatsuki pair was on his mind… It couldn't be that bad could it? Having no one to wait for was certainly a bonus.

"I've also decided to pair you up with Zetsu"

"WHAAAT?" Sasori stood abruptly, knocking his chair to the floor, "There is no way I'm working with that overgrown weed! He's got a split personality for God sake! How am I going to deal with THAT!?"

Pain frowned, "Technically he's two people"

"I don't care! You can't do this to me!" Sasori was devastated, even working with Deidara was better than working with Zetsu. He wondered if Pain got a kick out of pairing him with people he didn't like… after all Orochimaru was just plain weird… Deidara's art sucked and now Zetsu. "I'm an artist! A respected member of the Akatsuki! I renowned shinobi amongst the sand nin!"

Pain cleared his throat, "There's something else you should see". Slowly his leader reached into a pile of papers by his side and drew out a copy of the Sunagakure Times (the sand's official newspaper).

Hands shaking, Sasori reached forwards and lifted the paper to his face. As he feared the date was the day he was killed and the headline read:

**Old beats the young! Sasori defeated by his Grandma!**

"NOOOOOOOOOOO" Sasori flung the newspaper at Pain, "Chio!" he roared attempting to flip Pain's desk but found that he wasn't strong enough. Pain calmly rolled up the newspaper and wacked Sasori with it.

"Sit down, _man_! Get a hold of yourself, it's not my fault that you died in the canon so early…" he then dusted himself down as Sasori faintly fell back into his chair. "You're working with Zetsu and that's final"

Sasori supposed that at least it could only get better from here…

However, he was unaware of how wrong he was…

The following morning Sasori was finishing up admiring himself in the mirror when suddenly he felt a strange presence in the room, almost as if he were being watched. Quickly he turned around, just in case someone was standing behind him, but there was no one there. _How strange_, he thought, _I could've sworn th_-

"Hi there!" a voice then said from above and Sasori screamed, up above him Zetsu's head was sticking out from the ceiling, giving him a big grin with his tombstone teeth.

Sasori almost fainted, "DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!" he yelled and Zetsu winced, well at least half of him did, the other side just went all sassy.

"**Oi don't boss us around! Only I boss me around**"

Zetsu then proceeded to argue with himself,

"No you don't! I'm in charge too!"

"**Pfft, you? I don't think so**"

It took a while for them to finish arguing and Sasori decided to never let them do that again…

"Erhem" he cleared his throat loudly, which seemed to grab Zetsu's attention, "I understand that Pain wants us to meet with the rest of Akatsuki this afternoon?"

"Ohhh yeah!" White Zetsu said perkily, "He wants us to go and help out, Kakuzu reported that things were going slowly"

Sasori hated waiting, so helping to speed up construction sounded like a good plan to him.

"Race you outside!" Zetsu shouted suddenly and then absorbed into the wall.

Sasori also hated being late. Unfortunately, unlike Zetsu he couldn't walk through walls, and so Zetsu arrived outside first… This only pissed Sasori off, and the day had only just begun.

"**Follow me, I know the way**" Zetsu then said sensibly, which suited Sasori just fine, he needed to do some mindless following to calm down his inner diva fit, a fit he could feel approaching as if it were a storm.

Instead of walking like a normal person, Zetsu travelled by sinking into the ground and then reappearing several paces ahead, which meant that Sasori was always far behind him. This also suited Sasori just fine, as the less time he spent near Zetsu the faster his headache retreated.

Eventually however, Sasori begun to have a horrible feeling that something just wasn't quite right.

The first sign of this was the sudden change in terrain. Very quickly the ground became very hard to walk on, and Sasori found himself struggling through large patches of mud. Many more trees also appeared, and the canopy became so thick that the leaves almost blotted out the sun.

He had heard from Pain that almost everyone in the Akatsuki had gotten lost so far finding this place (even Deidara and Tobi who had founded the place), and so Sasori begun to fear that they were lost too.

He dismissed these thoughts though, Pain was always banging on about the value of teamwork, and about trusting your Akatsuki partner in all situations.

These thoughts then quickly returned upon noticing the second sign that something was wrong.

Hidden in the bushes and thorns, Sasori saw an old weather-beaten sign. The sign told him that Zetsu was leading him down a difficult swampy route, all the way to Konoha.

"Sasori?" Zetsu asked, sinking up from out of the ground in front of the sign.

Sasori placed a foot on his head and looked down at him with evil eyes, "Zetsu" he said quietly, "Why are we going to _Konoha_?"

"Cause this is the way we're supposed to go"

"The new Akatsuki Hideout isn't even _close_ to Konoha"

"**Hey, I think we know where it is**" Black Zetsu huffed angrily, "**Why would we take you down a completely wrong route?**"

"I REFUSE!" Sasori spat and stormed back the way they had come, behind he could hear Zetsu following.

"Wait Sasori!"

"**Argh just leave him! He'll come running back in no time just you watch**"

Sasori waited until he was sure he'd lost Zetsu before he finally stopped to sit down on a log. He didn't like to admit that he wasn't entirely sure this was the way they had previously come.

By the time night fell, Sasori found himself hopelessly lost. "Oh for God sake, why does this always happen to me" he complained out loud, stepping over a particularly nasty looking pile of mud, "Tobi gets all the bloody luck I swear"

Behind him he heard a rustle in the bushes, and he turned slowly.

"Zetsu?"

Meanwhile Zetsu was having a particularly nasty conversation with himself. "We shouldn't have left him, it was mean"

"**Shut up and stop bitching**"

"I'm not bitching! It was mean to leave Sasori like that, he obviously can't fend for himself poor thing… he's led such a sheltered life"

"**What does being spoiled have to do with walking down a path? I'm sure he'll find his way back… and then Pain will chew him out for us. Or maybe if we're lucky he'll get hurt**"

"But I don't want him to get hurt! I'm not a sadist like you!"

"**Oh shut your mouth and qui**-"

Suddenly, a piercing scream caused the flight of several birds nearby. "That girly screaming sounded just like Sasori!" Zetsu frowned and then sunk into the ground to go and find his new Akatsuki partner.

It was pretty easy to follow the screaming back to its source. Cautiously Zetsu peered out from a very high tree to see what all the fuss was about.

Down on the ground below, Sasori had crawled into the trunk of a large tree and was hiding inside to get away from a gigantic bear. The beast was massive and stood on its hind legs swiping at the tree, Zetsu could understand why the screaming had been sounding so urgently.

"Should we help him?"

"**I dunno, there's not much in it for us if he dies is there really**" his other half paused, "**If it were Tobi I would say 'no'**"

"But it's Sasori" White Zetsu pointed out, "And besides, you still haven't told me why you hate Tobi so much- even though you promised!"

"**Don't you think we have more pressing issues to attend to right now? Other than my breaking of promises- besides that's a story for another day…**"

"That's true, we should probably go and help him…"

Black Zetsu wondered why White Zetsu couldn't remember why he hated Tobi, after all… it was not like they ever separated… Either way though they both worked hard to rescue Sasori from the jaws of the bear.

At around 3:00am the two Akatsuki finally arrived at the location of the new base. Sasori wondered to himself whether if Pain knew just how close to Konoha it was… but he decided he was just too tired to contemplate that right then.

Zetsu carefully knocked on the door and Itachi opened it, "Oh there you two are, I was starting to get worried, woul-"

Sasori pushed past him and faintly sunk into a chair with shaking hands, Itachi turned back to Zetsu, "What happened to him?"

"Oh, let's just say he got himself into a _hairy_ situation" White Zetsu giggled,

"**That's not even funny**"

"Yes it is!"

"**No it isn't**"

They continued to argue in this manner even after Itachi let them inside, he wondered what the 'hairy situation' was but felt that it probably wasn't the right time to ask…


End file.
